Wandering Through The Land Of Nod.

In which I struggle to remember a password and to pass a humanity test! Memories of a selection conference and struggles with matching patterns.

Just this week, my humanity has been brought into question.

All I wanted to do was to check emails on my phone.  Something I do more than once every day, so it shouldn’t have been too difficult.  Annoyingly, this time I was asked for a password.  A password to read my own mail seemed a bit much, but I suppose a very desperate somebody could have stolen my phone in order to check my daily dose of “Christian Art,” updates from the Centre for Contemplation and Action or reminders from John Lewis that I’ve got a special offer in the cosmetic department which is about to expire!

Anyway, it would not let me pass, but it offered me an alternative to trying to remember at least eight digits with numbers and special symbols. 

£!!!6*&123

Spoiler alert – the above won’t let you into my secrets!

To prove that I wasn’t a robot, I simply had to complete a little picture puzzle.  I thought I’d be okay at that, because I’m quite good at recognising traffic lights!

However, it looks as though the robots have learnt all they need to know about traffic lights from us, because I was presented with a fresh task.

What I had to do, was turn an image of a small animal around so that it was facing the same way as the small animal in the picture next to it.  Simple, you might think, but one thing you need to know about me is that I have problems with patterns.

In the year 2000, I went for a three-day selection conference where I was gently taken apart and examined to see if I could be recommended as a candidate for ordination training in the Church of England.  It consisted of a series of interviews, written exercises, casual conversations, social get togethers, observed role play and being watched to make sure I shared the peas at dinner!

 All of that was fine, if gruelling, and I was satisfied that I was being properly assessed and I believed the outcome would be a fair one.

BUT, the worst thing of all was a test which didn’t help me at all.  We were given a set of pattern sequences, which I had to complete!  This was a nightmare for me and I guessed the answers. 

We also had to rearrange jumbled up words to make proper sentences.  That was good for me.

The results puzzled my assessors, because I scored worse than badly on the pattern test but higher than expected on the word test! 

One of my aims in retirement, was to learn how to do jigsaw puzzles.  Two years in, it’s not going well, unless the jigsaw picture includes lots of words! 

I am not the person you want to help with matching up your wallpaper!  I’m sure there’s a word for people like me.

Back to the little test to allow me to read my mail.  Believe it or not, I failed the first attempt!

The result of that was punitive, to say the least.  Set after set of blurry little animals gazing in different directions popped onto my screen, waiting for me to manipulate them.  Finally, the verdict was announced.  

I was not a robot, and I could read my emails.  I can’t remember if they were worth it!

What I do remember is a nostalgic longing for the exciting sound of a letter dropping through the letterbox onto the doormat, early in the morning!  A letter which was collected, sorted and delivered by human hand and didn’t ask me for a password before opening it!

Wander well,

Mandy

Things I love:

• Getting letters through the post.
• A Fantasy Bookshop Jigsaw puzzle – lots of words there!
• A warm May day.